Identity of the self is formed through the perception of the other(s). A loop is created, wherein “you” are conceived and created in the mind of the other(s) through an interactive process of perception outside of the self, within other(s). As this interactive process becomes on-going with other(s), feedback is generated; stasis becomes fixed and concrete, distorted with regenerative color.
When these “identity loops” are snapped within other(s), we lose/gain aspects of “the self”, i.e. the loss of a friend, family member, or other significant other(s) by natural design or by social force shifts who we (the self) are as “individuals”. Grief is a result of the loss of your own “identity feedback loop” within other(s) and not the actual loss of the other(s).
We have occasion to re-address our identity within the other(s) if we identify a libidinal need to do so, i.e. actively re-engaging another who has engendered you as something/someone that you are no longer.
YOU ARE WHO I AM; I AM WHO YOU PERCEIVE ME TO BE