WARNING: “Negative Drama” Triangulated Through Projection by a Person with Pathological Narcissism … or whatever.


Man … we lost this kid.

Someone remind her that her grandparents scapegoated her mother for all of the years of denial over her aunt and uncle (and their kids) with a huge cover up of criminal behavior that took everything her mother had .. and I mean everything (they even tried to take Evelynn, but that didn’t work out). This family took everything, left Amanda with cptsd, and then blackmailed and bribed Chelsea into taking an abrupt and sudden change after some nefarious issues came up regarding the things she was promised. She’s getting married and guess who wasn’t supposed to find out about it?

People do really awful things to the ones they are closest to, often without even realizing it. I’ve learned some pretty obvious stuff about myself through this, but from the very first matching dynamic I found in this situation in endless professional accounts of what this actually was, it was as if the last 25 years + were being dictated back to me after my wondering about WTF was going on turned into real researching regarding the clinical psychology of it all – why her sister’s husband was harassing her while her father begged her to save his job for him by doing what he should have been able to do if he was qualified … but more concerning was what would make a mother get as much enjoyment out of harming her own kid as I have seen and heard (things I was not suppose to see and hear) her mother do in all of the classic ways that sociopaths and people with pathological narcissism do. So much of it was actually criminal, but Amanda has been so beaten up by what her whole family has been manipulated into doing (along with some third parties) to her that she is not the same person and has been living under the obligation and fear that scapegoats always live under.

There is so much more – and a lot was documented, which always made Mary Ellen nervous …

At this point it’s pretty clear that Chelsea is being threatened financially if she speaks to her mother or anyone in my family … which is why I am writing this.

She discarded my mother and father after over 25 years of being her surrogate grandparents.

I cannot find any other reason that she would refuse to speak to or see them .. that is unless it’s just about greed, which unfortunately is very possible.


Efficient Manipulation of Pixels Found on the Internet

Art can do a lot of things. It can also not do anything and be a waste of time.

Sometimes it can do a lot in a very compacted and simple way with very little effort, but that takes a certain ability that involves paying attention to both formal and conceptual .potentials between multiple representations and wether or not the form they are in can be used practically.

Everything I make comes from images found on the internet. If I come across something that screams at me with potential for a convincing visual narrative, I’ll save it and anything else I might need to add to make it convincing enough to tell a complex story with the most efficient and least amount of work. When I first started to make image composites with layers it was 1996 and both photoshop and the layers function it came to be known for were in up to v3.5. It wasn’t an application you could just buy because the price was out of reach even for some universities . That was a contributing factor for me to transfer from a Cal State University that had one copy on one staff member’s PowerMac in her private office to the newest and State University at that time which because of its proximity to SiliconValley seemed like a logical step for the availability of  new software to use in the Visual & Public Art major.

I eventually bought my first copy of photoshop which came with a set of  8 or 9 3.5” floppy disks for installation through the University book store for a little over $100, which was about 80% of the retail cost. Back then there were no images on the “new” internet that were at a high enough resolution to be able to use for anything. WiFi did not exist yet and digital cameras were 2 megapixels at best with a $2k price tag … and again unusable because of their resolution. The only way to get images in to work with was through flatbed scanners and analog cameras. (Cell phones didn’t have cameras and very few people had them. They  took a lot of time to scan as processor speed and RAM memory on the powermacs we used was not even close to what is in a typical hand held device these days.

Speaking of which, I make these digital collages on an iPad Pro in Procreate (sometimes Autodesk Sketchbook) and post them to my instagram feed. These two pieces took about 10 minutes to make each one and they are delicious in their ability to speak the truth without words